this week should by all means be my last week in camp. and barring any major catastrophes, by next friday, i should be home and dry and a full-fledged civilian. this week though, i made a good mistake...probably because i was too pissed at that last minute fuck up by the grand motherfucker fatarse. sorry for the language there, but once you've gone through what i have, you'd find that positively mild.

now this week, going back, i needed 3 days off for wednesday, thursday and friday. now the background about this is totally crap, and i won't elaborate lest there be more cursing and swearing than totally neccessary. for one thing, i'm not pushing too hard for the off because...i get my pink ic next friday. so, this is the 2nd last week they can torture me with...so yeah, my charitable streak has decided to let them have their fun when they can. just don't come crying to me when you've got a heart attack in the future. i just might be the surgeon-on-call, so yeah. sure i'll be duty bound to save you, and i'll be professional about it. but, i'll follow Hippocrates oath to the tee, above all do no harm, and that's it. you wanna play by the book when it benefits you, i'll do the same and give you a taste of your own medicine. well, enough going off unto the beaten track.

now, one thing you learn about the saf over time is that it is a magnificent instituition probably best described by this acronym: TUIFU(The Ultimate In Fuck Ups). because my friends, not only is it, in the saf's case at least, TARFU(Things Are Really Fucked Up), things are well and truly FUBB(Fucked Up Beyond Belief). also, me and my unfortunate gang of friends, formerly known as a field pioneer platoon and now ORD soldiers, have ended up in 30sce, where things are FUMTU(Fucked Up More Than Usual). if there ever was a poll done, i have absolutely no doubt whatsoever that 30sce will come in as one of the top 10 worst places to serve ur national service. if you serve as a pioneer there, the rankings go up to the top half and you go into top 5 territory. now if you're like me, and have the enormous misfortune of ending up in bravo coy with this sorry bunch of losers to call your commanders, i dare say that you're looking at a genuine chance of winning the top spot hands down. it'd quite likely be a landslide victory.

now having wasted two wonderful years of my life under the guise of defending my nation, i can only say this about the saf in general, its a GFU(General Fuck Up). down here, you'll learn in your first year of service that SNAFU(Situation Normal: All Fucked Up) is the way of life. your second year only serves to re-enforce the point SUSFU(Situation Unchanged: Still Fucked Up). you learn all this after going through countless SAMFU(Self Adjusting Military Fuck Up), better known officially as field camps or exercises, and from being under commanders that are truly FUBAR(Fucked Up Beyond Redemption). after a while, when a GFU occurs, you'll think to yourself, TOFU(Things Ordinary: Fucked Up). so, my advice fellow slaves and pre-enlistees, in order to survive in this terrible environment, the advised attitude to adopt while going about your business for those two years would be this: DILLIGAF(Do I Look Like I Give A Fuck?). so for all of you still suffering, and all those about to get stuck in, heed these wonderful words of advice. as for me and my band of brothers, our suffering/slavery is almost up and our release from jail/prison/hell is imminent. we leave you with these sacred words:

ORD LOH!!!!

(if i had to explain this, you won't understand it.)