Something's been eating into me recently. I've been thinking about Ruth, a lot. At least, I've been trying to keep my mind away from her. She's been popping up everywhere in my head its driving me nuts. I really just don't understand this. Sure...we both clique well. Sure, technically I guess she's single now. But...something's just not right. Shit...I don't want to be falling again or anything.

But whats happened now is that...while i can keep her away from my thoughts when i'm awake...she starts popping up in my dreams. How many times? I don't remember. But what I do remember is this dream where she's sick...and i overcome some...i dunno...some fear of getting too close to her...and i put my arm around her to comfort her. And she holds on to me...and it felt so perfect.

No, this isn't right. Something must be wrong with me...