One step closer to ORD...man this seems so long. The last 3 months always seem the toughest. made worse by the fact that i'm being put on perpetual guard duty for NDP. Crap lah. Who wants to steal anything from Padang anyways. But....as always...there are pros and cons. Pro? I get 1 day off after 1 day of duty, i spend lesser time in camp, and i'm further away from the fucker called CSM. Con? I'm pretty much on my own...away from the platoon...and that sucks. This is one thing i can truly say thats good about the army, the camaraderie.

Too bad...someone's gotta be seperated from the platoon for this anyways...it just happens to be me this time. Plus point is that i live so near to the Padang. Else it would really suck. Now, we Padang gurads are hoping to stay out....that'll be the best. But unlikely...with the fat ass bastard of a CSM that we have.

Man...this week really stank quite a bit for me. I found out that i would be doing Padang guard from 6pm on Friday till 6am on Saturday. Then, i'd book into camp on the same day to do guard duty on sunday. Sick. Things took a turn...for better or worse...i have yet to know. Turns out this Padang thingie isnt a one-off event. It a perpetual rotational duty all the way till possibly past NDP. Thats the problem with the army...always so INDECISIVE..can't confirm this and that. Crap. But...from what we know...the most probable way the duty is going to be carried out will be 24hrs of duty from 6pm to 6pm the next day. Book out from there, and get the next 24hrs off. After that, i book back into camp on the night og my off, spend that night in camp, then move off from camp the next day to do the duty all over again. This goes on and on till NDP ends. I hope it starts real late into NDP preperations. That way, i'll do fewer of this rotational duty shit.

Anyways...i composed a poem and wrote one entry while in camp. Sorry but you won't get to see either so soon. I left the notebook in camp...and i'm hoping i have enough time to get that entry posted here. Before all that duty nonsense robbs me of more precious time. But...i'm going to be a civialian soon. I can't wait. Enough of this army already...please...just let me out.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there

I've become so tired so much more aware