Went shopping with Ruth earlier today...and i finally got a pair of semi-casuals that i longed for. Sadly...couldn't get my fave pair at Substance cuz there wasn't my size...and nope...no more fresh supplies. So i had to settle for second best. After looking around...and a false hope at Tangs...they have a small Substance corner... i finally deicided on a pair from Barcode...but they didn't have my size. The problems with big feet. Fortunately, the bugis outlet had it and we went immediately to get it. Phew... Quite pleased with the pruchase though.

Anyway...went down to Kallang to meet little Ellice...Ruth's little sis...before going over to the carnival tohave some fun. Not much though...started raining before we decided on what we wanted to do. Ended up playing with some darts and some running around looking for the henna tattoos stall. Girls... We did end up on the Crazy Surf when the rain stopped..and i went on it with Ellice...Ruth didn't go cuz she was wearing a skirt....for the sake of fashion. Seriously after the first few drops...the rest wasn't exciting...and that's very bad....so de-sensitized these days.

Then came the service...which stretched way past its time slot. But all the way through...i was very much lost in my own world. I could sense the energy but couldn't feel it. It seemed to be flowing all around me...and just right past really. Didn't feel like getting back in it...which is quite sad cuz after leaving for so long...the longing to be back has faded. I guess Ruth was right in saying that its most likely the people that are the hinderance...but...though i'm not commitment phobic...i can do without this commitment for now. Frankly i've never given much thought to deciding whether or not to return...but...i guess the desicion's swung in favour of not returning. Big decision...but after tonight...i guess it still hasn't changed my thoughts on this much. Only thing i've realised after tonight? I've gone very dead...unfeeling. If your emotions take too much damage...you automatically do damage control by cutting off emotions..and i guess that's what's happening to me. Is it caused by decision to enlist early? Am i still on the right path? I may never know...but if i do...i hope it's soon enough if i need to do any corrections.

How my life turns out from here...it's anybody's guess. But i'll do my best to make it a success...strange that the sermon was on callings. I've always used to say that doctors and surgeons...are mostly there because it's a calling. Nothing else. Hope i'm right. It sure seems imppsoible to many...but i'll do my best to not only succeed...but excel. And also...regardless of my decision of returning...i'll always treasure the friendship that i share with Ruth. Seems like...of all that's still in...we can clique the best. Life's short...and truly good friends are few and far between...but Ruth..i want u to know you are one of them.