Had a chat with David coming back from nights off today. As usual, we would always end up lapsing into out 2 favourite topics. My returning to church(not in the near future, unfortunately), and my seemingly gross hate for Singapore. popular misconception, that one, but given my position, and intentions, perfectly understandable.

For the record, i don't hate this country. I'm simply disgusted at what it's becoming. And for another, i'm rather disappointed at what it is now. To me, Singapore had a people searching for an identity. They had rge character, they had the soul, but they seem to have lost their way somehow. They grew tired of searching for an identiy, which to me is good, because it forces them to create one. That's the way it's supposed to work isn't it? Sadly, nope. The search seemingly drained the people, and they simply left the government to do the creating for them. We didn't have anything naturaylly reated to set us apart, so we did the next best thing, build it for ourselves. The people, sadly, only stood by and criticized. Negative feedback would be fine, as feedback, even negative, serves to construct. Criticism on the other hand, serves to destroy. I admit, i too stood by and even criticized at times, blindly following the crowd. No excuse, i concede, but i truly lacked the drive, or passion to voice out against the criticism or to rack my brains as to think creatively to aid inthe construction of a national identity. Simply put, i lacked partiotism.

Which brings me to my other point, the lack of patriotism, coupled with the selsihness of SIngaporeans. David asked me if in times of war, would i fight for this country. Immediate answer? No. He conceded that most Singaporeans wouldn't too, but the would stay and fight, only for their families. At first this seems perfectly fine, till i heard of an iccident that changed my perspective totally.

I haven't got the facts down cold, but it goies something like this.

During World War 2, there was this particular rally where Mussolini was giving his recruitment speech. He outlined the progressof the war, his plans for Italy, his military plans, his technical reasons as to why he needed more men. At the end of his speech, he took questions from the floor. One young man raised his hand and asked candidly, " What's in it for me? What would i be fighting for?" That evidently was the question on everone's mind, as people started to whisper to each other, then the room grew eerily silent as Mussolini prepared to answer.

He took a deep breath and started, " Gentlemen, I shall tell you the truth. If you sign up today, it may be the last time you will ever see you families. Many of you will die in this war, and those who survive will most likely be injured, scarred for life. You may lose an arm, a leg, even an eye. You may be tormented by memories, nightmares, ghosts that will haunt you for the rest of your lives." He paused, letting it sink in, looking the young men in the eye. Then he continued, " But because of you, Italy will live on."

Every man at that rally signed up. Most met with the grim fate that Mussolini gave, but beacuse of their sacrifice, Italy lives on today. Makes us look pretty selfish doesn't it? Very, in fact, fighting for our families and not our country. Sadly, it seems that the country is headed in this direction. I can do two things, try to change it, or walk away. I guess you know my choice. There is simply no reason for the former.